posted by Dani on Dec 25
jaime asked:
My parents got divorced a year ago. My mom has not wanted to date at all. but my dad has been dating the entire divorce. I have finally met my dads current, long term girl friend. I like her and shes really nice, but at the same time i dont know how to feel about this. its so weird to see him with someone other than my mom. and i feel disloyal to my mom as well. has anyone been in this situation? how’d you handle it?
Imsizzling.com
My parents got divorced a year ago. My mom has not wanted to date at all. but my dad has been dating the entire divorce. I have finally met my dads current, long term girl friend. I like her and shes really nice, but at the same time i dont know how to feel about this. its so weird to see him with someone other than my mom. and i feel disloyal to my mom as well. has anyone been in this situation? how’d you handle it?
Imsizzling.com
December 25th, 2008 at 11:28 pm
Hey that’s pretty common to feel weird and disloyal to your mom!
But, it’s ok that when your with your dad to be nice to his g/f and like her.
I would also talk to my mom and get her idea on his dating. Without saying you like his g/f. Just get a fill for how your mom feels!
That will give you a lot of insight.
December 26th, 2008 at 8:06 am
You are in one of the toughest moments for a kid to be in. And there’s no easy answer. It mostly depends upon how adult you can be about the situation.
The hardest part is not being in the middle of it all. I know you kinda are, because you’re the kid of both mom and dad. Dad’s already moving on with his girlfriend, and it’s kinda hard not to accept that.
Mom isn’t moving on, so maybe he was running around on her, so she’s still hurting. Hard to say.
Your mom hopefully won’t make any demands on you, like not to see dad because of the girlfriend, etc.
It is tough because mom and dad will always be mom and dad. That can’t be changed. The problem is that the family isnt’ together anymore. So you’ve got to find the inbetween where you can deal with both mom and dad without causing troubles with either.
good luck.
December 27th, 2008 at 9:33 am
It’s really weird and the only way you get used to it is years and years if your parents and there other mates have been to gether for a long time. my parents have been divorced for 12 years now my mom married my step-dad 2 years after getting a divorce that was hard. i still hate him lol. my dad’s girlfriend got in between me and my dad’s relationship and he is no longer in my life. but i am 25 now with my own husband and child and life isn’t bad it’s actually great. what they went thru makes me apprecitae my husband so much more. it’s hard but i promise you will be ok, most of us have been where you are. all you have to do is smile and live your life!! good luck honey!
p.s it’s ok to cry too about it i still do, sh our littke secret;)
December 28th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
Your parents are not only parent they are also human beings, it,s normal for them to want to have someone in their lives. When they decided to get divorced, they also stopped having any say in the other’s love life. It’s not like if your father was cheating on your mom. She may not be ready to date again, but she will most likely get there in time.
Remember, you are not part of the divorce. Your parents divorced, they did not divorce you. Plus, you do not have (should not) take sides. You say you feel disloyal to your mom, and I understand, but really, there’s no use, you are neither being loyal are disloyal. they both have the right to do what they want with their lives and your mom knows that, no matter how hard this can be.
It is awkward at first, but it gets easier with time.
December 30th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
Hi! Since my dad is on his 4th marriage, I understand! I was 17 when my parents divorced. I thought of his girlfriends/wives as friends rather than moms. this way I was not disloyal to my mom. Let your dad be happy and you will be too. You don’t say how old you are, so you may still have to follow her(girlfriend) rules. She is just an extra friend in your life. Be careful not to compete with her though for dads affections. Good luck!
January 3rd, 2009 at 3:37 am
It’s going to take you a while to “get used to it.” My parents separated and then divorced when I was 17. I never saw it coming. The best thing you can do is be happy for them when they’re happy. They (your mom and dad) may have issues between them that you don’t know about. It’s so hard seeing them with someone else. For a long time, I didn’t speak to my dad. I now regret this greatly. He had 3 heart attacks within the time I wasn’t speaking to him. I didn’t find out until recently. He could have died at any moment and I wouldn’t have even known. Life is too precious not to talk to your family and friends over a silly little misunderstanding. My dad actually left my mom for another woman. That’s why I was so mad. Even though that happened, I should have still talked to him even if it was just a lunch or dinner date with just me and him. Now, the woman he left my mom for, has left him recently and we have connected again. My husband and I don’t live far from him and try to help him out however we can. I can’t imagine losing him. I see the hurt in his eyes, but I don’t bring up the past. I just try to talk about other things in life to take his mind off of it. Good luck, but yes, it will be awkward and will take some time, but you’ll eventually get used to it.